Merry Go Round of Life

guh

Becky J — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 07:10:43 +0000

cheezits. sorry if i dont really use my wordpress. :/ it confuses me! its annoying me right now. but i have a tumblr. i try to write in it sometimes, but mostly i post pictures and stuff i like. i’ll try to write some more in it now. well my tumblrs

www.kissesofsunshine.tumblr.com

if you wanted to see what im up to on that.

clean

Becky J — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 07:01:16 +0000

woahhh. i was looking through all my old posts, and i realized everything. EVERYTHING for about 6 months has been set to private. Recently i have been thinking and thinking, about WHY I like to keep everything quiet and a secret, or private. Well now im tired of hiding everything. I feel like i have to hide stuff about me so people i know won’t judge me for what i did. I think im too self conscience. maybe my insecurity is that i dont want people to think bad of me. well, i decided since im becoming a changed person, im coming cleaaaaaaaaaan. well i guess i didnt have such a big secret. I just liked this one boy, for a longgg time. Iguess im sort of a sentimental person, so i saved basically ALL of our conversations we had together. and i made them all set to private on my blog. At one point, he asked me out. I was so thrilled and excited. I guess didnt really think about the whole situation and what a relationship means. I just wanted to know what it meant to feel loved, or cared about. So i just went with the flow. I became his “girlfriend” in a way, and i really liked him. i decided to keep me and him a secret to my parents. At the time i didnt think it was that big of a deal. I figured, ” well hey! i’m a good kid! its not like i’m doing something REALLY bad. my parents dont have to know about this” but later it really grew on me, and i knew someone would find out eventually. and I HATED every single moment of having to keep something from my mom. When my mom DID find out, i had to break up with him.After i told my “boyfriend” he broke up with me. it was all over after 5 weeks. I broke up with him because my older sister told me to. When my friends ask “why didyou do that!” i have to think about it. I realize that i love my family more than a simple relationship with a boy. I didnt want to risk my family over one single boy. I LOVE MY FAMILY. I trust what my sister told me was for the best. I loved her, so i listened to her. Even if i didnt have a boyfriend who claimed “he loved me” i have 3 sisters, a mommy and a daddy, and God, who love me more than anything in this world. Even if i was heartbroken for 5-6 months, i knew i made the right decision. Now when i think about all of this that happened, i feel like i want to keep it a secret. I dont want people to think “oh wow, she had a boyfriend?” or that Im not as “pure” as i was before. Or that i disobeyed the Bible by having a boyfriend. For some reason, i feel like my cousins and peers would think i failed them. because i had a boyfriend before i was able to actually understand a relationship. Well even if i was a bit boy crazy, i’m still the same old me. I was afraid of what people- or my cousins mostly would think of me. They set it up that there going to find THE ONE, and marry him and tell him “you are my first, and i can proudly say that” now i feel like i have ONE less thing to say to my future husband. or that by having ONE boyfriend, they’ll be disapointed in me for failing there “system” I felt like if they found out, they’d look down upon me for what i did. Sometimes i dont understand why Im not allowed to date in highschool. It does make sense that you dont want to have 14 boyfriends or girlfriends before you find the one. I guess it makes it more special. I was afraid to tell anyone this other than my sisters, but now thats its out there i want people to know. I dislike keeping secrets or hiding something away. Even if i did make a mistake, i dont want people to think i failed them. because I didnt fail them. If i’m so afraid of what people think, then why am i coming clean about this? IM TIRED OF HAVING TO HIDE THIS AWAY. I want to be a new person. i want to be more of a christian. I have nothing to lose if i will gain something called a relationship with GOD. Even if people wont think of me as the same, I’ll have GOd’s unfailing and merciful love. I guess retreat was a wakeup call for me. I came to a realization that this time I really needed God. And that i had to TRY. and not give up. God is everything. He will be the only person who loves me no matter what i do. He always forgives me and loves me, EVEn when i deny him or reject him. He is so amazing, its so hard to believe that he still loves me despite all the things i do. Every now and then i am tempted to go back to my old ways. but this time, something in my heart pulls. It tells me not to do this, and keep taking the path towards God. Although its taken me a long time to finally make the right decision, im still trying. I guess i always thought I never encountered God or experienced his doing. I guess i have. He convicts my heart, when i am tempted to go back to my old life, and old ways. I am so greatful to be a child of God. and that he loves me no matter what mistakes i make. He will never judge me, and he always forgives me even when i dont deserve it. Now after all this thinking and typing, i dont understand the purpose of this post. well its too late to back out. I guess i just wanted to free myself of secrets. i wanted to be, well “clean” and now i feel like all the weight on my heart is gone.

well. i guess thats all i wanted to say.

Becky J — Sat, 01 May 2010 17:41:13 +0000

this song seems to have grown on me. maybe cause aileen sings it all the time at home!! :O
You know you love me
I know you care
Just shout whenever,
And I’ll be there
You want my love
You want my heart
And we would never, ever, ever be apart

Are we an item?
Girl quit playin’
We’re just friends,
What are you sayin’?
Said there’s another as you look right in my eyes
My first love, broke my heart for the first time

And I was like
Baby, baby, baby ooh
Like
Baby, baby, baby noo
Like
Baby, baby, baby ohh
I thought you’d always be mine (mine)
Baby, baby, baby ohh
Like
Baby, baby, baby noo
Like
Baby, baby, baby ohh
I thought you’d always be mine (mine)

Oh oh For you, I would have done whatever
And I just can’t believe we ain’t together
And I wanna play it cool
But I’m losin’ you
I’ll buy you anything
I’ll buy you any ring
Cause I’m in pieces
Baby fix me
And just shake me till you wake me from this bad dream
I’m goin down, down, down, down
And I just can’t believe my first love won’t be around

And I’m like
Baby, baby, baby ohh
Like
Baby, baby, baby noo
Like
Baby, baby, baby ohh
I thought you’d always be mine (mine)
Baby, baby, baby ohh
Like
Baby, baby, baby noo
Like
Baby, baby, baby ohh
I thought you’d always be mine (mine)

(Luda)
When I was 13, I had my first love
There was nobody compared to my baby
And nobody came between us, no one could ever come above
She had me going crazy, oh I was star-struck,
She woke me up daily, don’t need no Starbucks(Woo! )
She made my heart pound, I skip a beat when I see her in the street
And at school on the playground but I really wanna see her on the weekend
She knows she got me dazing cuz she was so amazing
And now my heart is breaking but I just keep on saying…

Baby, baby, baby ohh
Like
Baby, baby, baby noo
Like
Baby, baby, baby ohh
I thought you’d always be mine (mine)

Baby, baby, baby ohhh
Like
Baby, baby, baby, noo
Like
Baby, baby, baby ohh
I though you’d always be mine (mine)

I’m gone
Yeahh, yeah, yeah
Yeahh, yeahhh
Now I’m all gone
Yeahh, yeah, yeah
Yeahh, yeahhh
Now I’m all gone
Yeahh, yeah, yeah
Yeahh, yeahhh
Now I’m all gone, gone, gone, gone
I’m gone

Becky J — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 05:33:43 +0000

[22:30] crazie8ts: i learned more aout bees today

[22:30] crazie8ts: to tell the other bees

[22:30] crazie8ts: about where a flower is

[22:30] crazie8ts: they do a little wiggle dance

[22:30] beckywonders: OMG

[22:30] crazie8ts: isnt that cool

[22:30] beckywonders: WIGGLE DANCE?

[22:30] crazie8ts: lol

[22:31] crazie8ts: or something like that

[22:31] crazie8ts: they wiggle north

[22:31] crazie8ts: to indicate the flower is north towards the sun

Becky J — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 04:24:49 +0000

Ooh I need your love babe, Guess you know it’s true. Hope you need my love babe, Just like I need you. Hold me, love me, hold me, love me. I ain’t got nothin’ but love babe, Eight days a week. Love you ev’ry day girl, Always on my mind. One thing I can say girl, Love you all the time. Hold me, love me, hold me, love me. I ain’t got nothin’ but love girl, Eight days a week. Eight days a week I love you. Eight days a week Is not enough to show I care. Ooh I need your love babe, Guess you know it’s true. Hope you need my love babe, Just like I need you. Hold me, love me, hold me, love me. I ain’t got nothin’ but love babe, Eight days a week. Eight days a week I love you. Eight days a week Is not enough to show I care. Love you ev’ry day girl, Always on my mind. One thing I can say girl, Love you all the time. Hold me, love me, hold me, love me. I ain’t got nothin’ but love babe, Eight days a week, Eight days a week, Eight days a week.

CAMERA!

Becky J — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 01:38:47 +0000

yaaay!

Gracey grace gave me her old canon, but its still in good condition! I’ve been playing around with my camera. har har;)

Becky J — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 07:49:44 +0000

demonxstarz (11:25:13 PM): pooke

beckywonders (11:25:24 PM): -poke-
this again>

beckywonders (11:25:25 PM): XD

demonxstarz (11:25:29 PM): hmm

demonxstarz (11:25:30 PM): XD

demonxstarz (11:25:40 PM): mhmm.

beckywonders (11:25:45 PM): last time, this led to..
XD YOU GETTING MARRIED AND GETTING NIA PREGNNAT

beckywonders (11:25:46 PM): XD

beckywonders (11:25:50 PM): pregnant-

beckywonders (11:25:51 PM): XD

demonxstarz (11:25:55 PM): not this time.

demonxstarz (11:25:56 PM): D:

beckywonders (11:26:00 PM): haha

beckywonders (11:26:01 PM): ok

beckywonders (11:26:01 PM): poke

demonxstarz (11:26:05 PM): poke

beckywonders (11:26:11 PM): poke

demonxstarz (11:26:15 PM): how was yer day

demonxstarz (11:26:15 PM): XD

beckywonders (11:26:25 PM): it was ok

beckywonders (11:26:26 PM): i guess

beckywonders (11:26:27 PM): XD

beckywonders (11:26:29 PM): not bad

beckywonders (11:26:30 PM): not good

demonxstarz (11:26:59 PM): haha

demonxstarz (11:27:00 PM): why

beckywonders (11:27:15 PM): hmm

beckywonders (11:27:23 PM): well i wanted the day to be over, but then

beckywonders (11:27:29 PM): now i want to go back to school XD

beckywonders (11:27:31 PM): for some reason

beckywonders (11:27:35 PM): so i can turn in my mobile

beckywonders (11:27:36 PM): XD

demonxstarz (11:27:41 PM): …..

beckywonders (11:27:42 PM): and outshine gabby XD

demonxstarz (11:27:43 PM): youre finished?

demonxstarz (11:27:44 PM): D:

beckywonders (11:27:50 PM): yea

beckywonders (11:27:50 PM): XD

beckywonders (11:27:54 PM): it looks like a pinyata

beckywonders (11:28:03 PM): i feel very accomplished

beckywonders (11:28:04 PM): im happpy

beckywonders (11:28:06 PM): :]

demonxstarz (11:28:38 PM): …

demonxstarz (11:28:41 PM): already done.

demonxstarz (11:28:41 PM): D:

demonxstarz (11:28:44 PM): ugh.

beckywonders (11:28:49 PM): it is going to be due soon

demonxstarz (11:28:50 PM): whens it due again?

beckywonders (11:28:56 PM): uhm

beckywonders (11:28:57 PM): 26th?

beckywonders (11:28:59 PM): something like that

demonxstarz (11:29:07 PM): WHAT

demonxstarz (11:29:09 PM): THATS

demonxstarz (11:29:12 PM): THATS

demonxstarz (11:29:14 PM): THATS

beckywonders (11:29:14 PM): next week

beckywonders (11:29:15 PM): D

demonxstarz (11:29:16 PM): THATS

beckywonders (11:29:16 PM): XD

demonxstarz (11:29:22 PM): @__________________________________________________@

beckywonders (11:29:36 PM): poke

demonxstarz (11:30:01 PM): sigh.

demonxstarz (11:30:06 PM): so much to do.

demonxstarz (11:30:10 PM): ugh.

demonxstarz (11:30:15 PM): bridge and poem

beckywonders (11:30:19 PM): sokay

beckywonders (11:30:21 PM): -pats-

beckywonders (11:30:30 PM): do you need yer wife for some comfort

beckywonders (11:30:31 PM): XD

demonxstarz (11:31:15 PM): no.

demonxstarz (11:31:16 PM): D:

beckywonders (11:31:33 PM): he’ll be lonely without you

beckywonders (11:31:33 PM): XD

beckywonders (11:32:01 PM): ahh im sad.
we only have 4 months of school left

beckywonders (11:32:03 PM): and then after that

beckywonders (11:32:06 PM): all my other friends

beckywonders (11:32:08 PM): are leaaaaving me

beckywonders (11:32:11 PM): to armijo

beckywonders (11:32:11 PM): D:

demonxstarz (11:32:14 PM): sokaay

demonxstarz (11:32:19 PM): we can meet sometime XD

beckywonders (11:32:21 PM): and all my close guy friendsssss

beckywonders (11:32:23 PM): nooo fair

demonxstarz (11:33:20 PM): its okay beckies XD

beckywonders (11:33:28 PM): im gonna miss everyoneeee

demonxstarz (11:33:39 PM): we can

demonxstarz (11:33:42 PM): erm

demonxstarz (11:33:48 PM): hmm.

demonxstarz (11:33:53 PM): …….

demonxstarz (11:34:01 PM): PLAYDATE

demonxstarz (11:34:04 PM): ?

demonxstarz (11:34:08 PM): …..

demonxstarz (11:34:08 PM): ????

beckywonders (11:34:16 PM): haha

demonxstarz (11:34:16 PM): ……

beckywonders (11:34:20 PM): i remember

beckywonders (11:34:22 PM): playdates

beckywonders (11:34:23 PM): were so fn

beckywonders (11:34:24 PM): XD

beckywonders (11:34:37 PM): hannah came over today

beckywonders (11:34:40 PM): only for like an hour

beckywonders (11:34:42 PM): it was fun

demonxstarz (11:34:45 PM): didja have fun

demonxstarz (11:34:46 PM): =P

beckywonders (11:35:00 PM): she helped hold up my mobile, while i attached stuff

beckywonders (11:35:04 PM): and we shared some good laughs

beckywonders (11:35:05 PM): XD

demonxstarz (11:35:15 PM): that must have been fun.

demonxstarz (11:35:17 PM): XD

beckywonders (11:35:22 PM): haha

beckywonders (11:35:32 PM): why do you have to go to armijoooo

demonxstarz (11:36:35 PM): i might not go ta armijo

demonxstarz (11:36:42 PM): i may go to rod

demonxstarz (11:36:45 PM): XD

beckywonders (11:36:49 PM): you say taht all the time thoo

beckywonders (11:36:55 PM): but yer gonna end up at armijooo

demonxstarz (11:37:44 PM): maybe

demonxstarz (11:37:47 PM): maybe not

demonxstarz (11:37:49 PM): XD

beckywonders (11:37:58 PM): haha

demonxstarz (11:39:03 PM): you can go ta armijo

demonxstarz (11:39:04 PM): XD

beckywonders (11:39:08 PM): i cant

beckywonders (11:39:08 PM): XD

beckywonders (11:39:17 PM): aileen goes to rod

beckywonders (11:39:20 PM): and i have to go to rod

beckywonders (11:39:21 PM): XD

demonxstarz (11:39:26 PM): you dun haftaa

beckywonders (11:39:33 PM): but i kinda doo

beckywonders (11:39:34 PM): XD

demonxstarz (11:41:09 PM): not really.

demonxstarz (11:41:11 PM): yer just

demonxstarz (11:41:20 PM): following their footsteps.

demonxstarz (11:41:21 PM): XD

beckywonders (11:41:27 PM): but itd be too hard

beckywonders (11:41:29 PM): WELL ARENT YOU

beckywonders (11:41:31 PM): FOLOWIUNG

beckywonders (11:41:35 PM): THEIR FOOTSTEPS?!?!?

beckywonders (11:41:35 PM): XD

demonxstarz (11:41:48 PM): nah

demonxstarz (11:41:52 PM): well

demonxstarz (11:41:54 PM): maybeee

demonxstarz (11:41:55 PM): XD

beckywonders (11:41:56 PM): haha

beckywonders (11:41:57 PM): exactly

demonxstarz (11:42:18 PM): i probably wont follow my sister’s footsteps though

beckywonders (11:42:34 PM): aww, so yer not gonna wear a red dress and look like a china doll?

beckywonders (11:42:34 PM): XD

beckywonders (11:42:35 PM): jk jk

demonxstarz (11:42:46 PM): ….

demonxstarz (11:42:47 PM): no.

demonxstarz (11:42:49 PM): i

demonxstarz (11:42:50 PM): am

demonxstarz (11:42:51 PM): not.

beckywonders (11:42:53 PM): haha

beckywonders (11:42:54 PM): darn

beckywonders (11:42:59 PM): you got my hopes up for nothing

demonxstarz (11:43:52 PM): …

demonxstarz (11:44:05 PM): you really think im THAT into cross dressing?!

demonxstarz (11:44:07 PM): D:

beckywonders (11:44:29 PM): hah no

beckywonders (11:44:31 PM): im kidding

beckywonders (11:44:31 PM): XD

beckywonders (11:44:33 PM): well i have to go now

beckywonders (11:44:34 PM): my mom is mad

demonxstarz (11:44:57 PM): awww

demonxstarz (11:44:59 PM): whyy

demonxstarz (11:45:03 PM): you should be

beckywonders (11:45:04 PM): cause

demonxstarz (11:45:05 PM): sneaky sneaky

demonxstarz (11:45:06 PM): XD

beckywonders (11:45:09 PM): my mom doesnt like me talking to guys

beckywonders (11:45:09 PM): XD

demonxstarz (11:45:30 PM): SOKAY BECKY!

demonxstarz (11:45:32 PM): I CAN BE

beckywonders (11:45:32 PM): all the time

beckywonders (11:45:32 PM): XD

demonxstarz (11:45:33 PM): YER

beckywonders (11:45:33 PM): at night

beckywonders (11:45:34 PM): XD

demonxstarz (11:45:36 PM): WO

demonxstarz (11:45:39 PM): MAN BUDDY!

beckywonders (11:45:42 PM): haha

demonxstarz (11:45:43 PM): XD

beckywonders (11:45:43 PM): thanks

beckywonders (11:45:44 PM): XD

beckywonders (11:45:48 PM): well better go nowww

beckywonders (11:45:54 PM): i think she found out iu was awake

beckywonders (11:45:57 PM): cause i was laughing

beckywonders (11:45:58 PM): too loud

beckywonders (11:45:58 PM): XD

demonxstarz (11:46:02 PM): woops.

demonxstarz (11:46:04 PM): sorries.

demonxstarz (11:46:05 PM): XD

beckywonders (11:46:08 PM): haha sokay

beckywonders (11:46:08 PM): XD

beckywonders (11:46:10 PM): gnite

beckywonders (11:46:11 PM): woah

beckywonders (11:46:13 PM): for some reason

beckywonders (11:46:17 PM): i thought this was hannah

beckywonders (11:46:19 PM): and i was gonna say

beckywonders (11:46:21 PM): love you too

beckywonders (11:46:22 PM): XD

beckywonders (11:46:23 PM): but yer not hannah

beckywonders (11:46:24 PM): XD

demonxstarz (11:46:25 PM): …

demonxstarz (11:46:27 PM): lol.

demonxstarz (11:46:28 PM): XD

beckywonders (11:46:32 PM): i was talking to her at the sametime

beckywonders (11:46:34 PM): gotta go

beckywonders (11:46:37 PM): before i get killed

Bible verse of the day

Becky J — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 06:04:14 +0000

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Galatians 6:9

LESSON LEARNED OF THE HOUR

Becky J — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 22:23:08 +0000

1) never trade items online on Restaraunt City with your sisters.They don’t get it, and can hold a grudge on you for the rest of the day. It is better to trade with others since they don’t live with you. yep yep, and now it seems all of my sisters ( excluding the ones who don’t live with me ) are mad at me for this stupid game.

2) according to your sisters, you should never tell someone that they’re going through puberty cause there acting unusual and moody. But of course its normal and unrude for people to say mean things like they have no life. yea thanks for being on my side. And of course teachers can say ” Oh, you’re going through puberty” and SHE isn’t busting them, but of course there teachers, and if your a LIFE SCIENCE teacher, you can tell ANYONE they’re going through puberty.

3) If you are hungry, then eat lunch. that one is quite obvious.

UP!

Becky J — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 04:41:03 +0000

UP!

such a good movie. Its a combination of sad, cute, happy, and funny,